My Little Angel

About two-year ago, I lost my unborn child. I remember as if it was yesterday, junior year of college, when I found out I was pregnant after visiting Planned Parenthood. I always thought I would fear that moment I found out I was pregnant, but it was nothing like it. Instead I  was confused, but at the same time ecstatic at the fact that a little human being was going inside me. Emotions I never thought I would never feel, since I was still in College.

At that time, my boyfriend and I were arguing a lot, so we weren’t able to enjoy the news. Instead we pushed it aside and let our problems and stress take over us. In the midst of all that one night I felt my baby exit my body. A moment that until this day makes me cry uncontrollably. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of my angel. My baby, was taken from me, and I will never know what my precious son or daughter would have looked like. A choice, God made, one I know I shouldn’t question, but I can’t help to do because it hurts my soul.

Although, my heart aches and I resent my boyfriend and I, I know we couldn’t have changed anything. It wasn’t our time and I now understand that.

–I apologize for the depressing post, but these are my true emotions for today.

Being Broke

One of the items on my bucket list has been to attend a Laker’s game, in order to see Kobe himself, but damn those ticket prices are insane! My boyfriend and I have been saving up, but $300+ per seat is unattainable for us college students–the struggle. At the moment I am looking at seats that would be amazing, but my credit card available balance won’t allow me to purchase them. 3 more home games! My hopes of going are diminishing, oh man I wish we could really go! It really sucks not being able to afford things you really want. But hey…wait a minute! Isn’t that why we are attending a University? However, instead of making us richer, tuition is drowning us in debt. Thanks for making us stress out and work our asses off..so we can just be broker than when we started! This is the reason why I am voting for BERNIE! BERNIE 2016!

I didn’t mean to make this about politics, but it happened!

KOBE please give us a pair of tickets, so we can go see you! –Right, only if he could see this! lol

What “Likes” mean to me.

I know it might sound foolish, but today was the first time people viewed some of my posted and actually liked them. For the first time since I started my blog, I felt I made sense, and maybe just maybe there is a possibility for others to relate. I know it might sound silly and many might not understand, but those notifications have made my day even if they are only a couple.❤️

 

I realized I am not very great at blogging. I think my posts will not be consistent unless strong emotions are felt to be expressed.

Eventually, I will figure out when I want to post and exactly what as well.

 

Heyy…wasn’t that the plan to begin with? lol

 

Is being Alone that bad?

Although, at moments I worry about not having many friends, I have come to realize I actually enjoy being alone. I think what makes me feel lonely are all these social media outlets, which is the reason why I have refrained from accessing them. I have removed them from my devices and have began to distract myself and reduce my leisure time. By doing so, I have recalled, how damn amazing I am and how much fun I can be.

Soo…damn them. At the end they will miss me.

March 27, 2016

The day I found out my friend attempted to commit suicided. I didn’t know how to react nor what to think. Until this moment I don’t know how to feel other than sadness and confusion.

–Realization: Self-love, never let a moment nor a person define your past, present nor future. You are greater than anything that happens to you, live for yourself, even during moments that seem the coldest.