Bullies at Work

I try to always be kind to others from the bat – I give them the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. Why judge others when you don’t know them? What do you get out of that?

At my work place there’s a group of four women who outcast me just because…I have NEVER done anything to them, but they like to ignore me and act like I don’t exist. No lie, they act like I am unworthy because I run the front desk and their “Directors…”. Honestly, it doesn’t phase me nor make me sad. It makes me feel bad for them to never have grown out of that high school mean girl phase. We get it, you grew up privileged and others like me didn’t. BUT, does that make you any better than me? The answer is NO. I let them be and ignore all their snottiness. I am not going to quit or let them push me to have a bad experience.

They can continue to plan events, invite all staff but me. At the end of the day, I am the better person. THE HAPPIER PERSON.

I don’t write this with remorse instead to let others who are in the same position as me that we are not defined by others. We are not what people depict us to be. We are who we want to be and no one can change that.

Be kind.

x A.

 

The American Dream

Found these unfinished thoughts and I thought I would share...

Being Mexican-American, has been a challenge since I can remember. My family had .50 in there pockets when they came into this Country hoping to only build a foundation that one day could be enjoyed and appreciated by their kids and grandkids. However, living in a County where many see us as enemies, “rapists, killers, and burglars”, for decades, has been difficult. Laws are not the only ones who have made this difficult, but so have social barriers and generalizations of our population.

Tonight, my motivation and hunger for success grew even stronger. After being remembered what I have always wished for: the ability to provide my parents the life they wish they could have given their kids. I don’t think anyone wants to grow up and see their parents working when they are elderly and should be retired, while enjoying their social security. However, that is impossible for undocumented immigrants to do. They work countless hours, getting paid minimum wage, living paycheck to pay check. If they can barely support themselves and their loved ones, how can they afford to start saving for their retirement when their employer doesn’t even offer them one? Many of them aren’t even offered a tax return because they do not have a  valid social security number.

However, they continue to work their ass off, day after day, without knowing how they will be able to survive 10 years from now. Tonight, as my partner and I were driving home around 9:00p.m. We noticed an elderly man that looked to be of either Hispanic or Middle Eastern decent running from the street going from one side of the to the other (both sidewalks) placing business cards on vehicles windshields. I kid, you not I wanted to

 

 

Don’t Let Others Define You In the Workplace

Random thoughts as I am at work…

I’ve realized that I am at that stage in my life where I am no where to where I want to be “career wise”. However, my love life is great, which helps a lot. I am currently an administrator at a school…surrounded by big dogs. Although I am part of the team others make me feel irrelevant. They think they are above ‘sea level’ and the rest are little fishes in the water. HORRIBLE REFERENCE I know. BUT one of the big headed Directors at my school always says  “sea level employees” so I thought it would be funny to use the same reference.

Moving on…One of the coordinators at work tried me today. She thinks because I she’s a coordinator in the development department she can have me do all the work she doesn’t want to so. She asked my boss if I could do it. Typically, I am all for helping out and getting shit done, but not this time. I know my potential as an employee and human being and I am no one bitch. I am not going to do another persons job because they don’t want to do it even if it’s in their job description. I told my boss NO. I wasn’t going to do it. Although, I haven’t gotten a response it felt good to say no. I am damn good at my job and won’t let another colleague dictate what I do and how I shall do it.

I will keep you guys updates on what he tells me. Moral of the story: SPEAK UP. Don’t let others push you around. YOU ARE AMAZING, DON’T LET OTHERS PUSH YOU AROUND!

 

x A.

 

My Little Angel

About two-year ago, I lost my unborn child. I remember as if it was yesterday, junior year of college, when I found out I was pregnant after visiting Planned Parenthood. I always thought I would fear that moment I found out I was pregnant, but it was nothing like it. Instead I  was confused, but at the same time ecstatic at the fact that a little human being was going inside me. Emotions I never thought I would never feel, since I was still in College.

At that time, my boyfriend and I were arguing a lot, so we weren’t able to enjoy the news. Instead we pushed it aside and let our problems and stress take over us. In the midst of all that one night I felt my baby exit my body. A moment that until this day makes me cry uncontrollably. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of my angel. My baby, was taken from me, and I will never know what my precious son or daughter would have looked like. A choice, God made, one I know I shouldn’t question, but I can’t help to do because it hurts my soul.

Although, my heart aches and I resent my boyfriend and I, I know we couldn’t have changed anything. It wasn’t our time and I now understand that.

–I apologize for the depressing post, but these are my true emotions for today.

Being Broke

One of the items on my bucket list has been to attend a Laker’s game, in order to see Kobe himself, but damn those ticket prices are insane! My boyfriend and I have been saving up, but $300+ per seat is unattainable for us college students–the struggle. At the moment I am looking at seats that would be amazing, but my credit card available balance won’t allow me to purchase them. 3 more home games! My hopes of going are diminishing, oh man I wish we could really go! It really sucks not being able to afford things you really want. But hey…wait a minute! Isn’t that why we are attending a University? However, instead of making us richer, tuition is drowning us in debt. Thanks for making us stress out and work our asses off..so we can just be broker than when we started! This is the reason why I am voting for BERNIE! BERNIE 2016!

I didn’t mean to make this about politics, but it happened!

KOBE please give us a pair of tickets, so we can go see you! –Right, only if he could see this! lol

What “Likes” mean to me.

I know it might sound foolish, but today was the first time people viewed some of my posted and actually liked them. For the first time since I started my blog, I felt I made sense, and maybe just maybe there is a possibility for others to relate. I know it might sound silly and many might not understand, but those notifications have made my day even if they are only a couple.❤️

 

I realized I am not very great at blogging. I think my posts will not be consistent unless strong emotions are felt to be expressed.

Eventually, I will figure out when I want to post and exactly what as well.

 

Heyy…wasn’t that the plan to begin with? lol

 

Is being Alone that bad?

Although, at moments I worry about not having many friends, I have come to realize I actually enjoy being alone. I think what makes me feel lonely are all these social media outlets, which is the reason why I have refrained from accessing them. I have removed them from my devices and have began to distract myself and reduce my leisure time. By doing so, I have recalled, how damn amazing I am and how much fun I can be.

Soo…damn them. At the end they will miss me.

March 27, 2016

The day I found out my friend attempted to commit suicided. I didn’t know how to react nor what to think. Until this moment I don’t know how to feel other than sadness and confusion.

–Realization: Self-love, never let a moment nor a person define your past, present nor future. You are greater than anything that happens to you, live for yourself, even during moments that seem the coldest. 

March 26, 2016

March 26, 2016, the day my personal blog was created. A day full of multiple emotions that my brain can’t process nor that my body can react to. For some time now I have began to question the people who surround me. I feel like I have been an incredible friend to those that I have befriended and have befriended me. However, why do I feel so lonely? I feel as if I don’t have any friends I can count on even if I haven’t done anything to them. Why is that? Am I doing something to push them away? Is my personality dull and uninteresting? I know-these questions sound foolish, but they are those who I am really asking myself.

I use to have so many friends when I was younger and now feel like if I don’t have none. I see all my friend hang around one another, but a ring never goes through my end. They never invite me nor mention things to me. I have figured that maybe it’s our stances on life and the things that we are doing. Although, many times these things only bother me for a moment, I can’t help, but think about the future.

  • Who will be my maid of honor?
  • Who will be invited to my wedding?
  • Who will throw my Bachelorette party?

And all these other foolish questions that might go away tomorrow.

As I am figuring out how to end this, I feel like the protagonist of the show “Awkward”. haha

–Anni